This is the 1st time the entire Johnson family has been together since our wedding, in April of 2006! (Left to Right: Kyle, Heidi, Meghan, Kris, Caleb, Rhoda, Arlen)
Before Caleb went to sleep last night, he and I sat together for a while on the rocking chair in his room. We had soft music on and I rocked him. My heart felt a bit heavy as I thought of how quickly these past 12 months have gone by. It hadn't really "hit me" quite yet. In all the busyness of preparing for his birthday and having family in town, I hadn't had much time to reflect. When you have a baby, the FIRST BIRTHDAY is something that, even if subconsciously, you think about, even months and months in advance. I don't mean just the party, but the concept that once your little one hits age 1, so many things change. He can drink cow's milk. He is now considered a "toddler" (although we are still working on learning to "toddle"!). The "baby" toys have been washed and packed away. Of course, all of these things are exciting....watching Caleb grow and learn is so wonderful. But, I can't help feeling a pinch of sadness, thinking about how his 1st year is over.
In those first days and weeks of a baby’s life, that 12 month mark seems so far away! Then, all of a sudden, it is here! Where did the time go? I guess I do know where it went....it turned into many moments of sleeping and eating and playing and learning and growing and hugging and kissing and crying and laughing and smiling. And, that is what helps us to be in the present, and to continue looking forward, cherishing the memories of yesterday, but not getting bogged down in "what used to be".
So, in the quiet and darkness of his room, after everyone had gone home, and it was just me and my baby, I took full advantage of the chance to hold him, rock him, and tell him how much I loved him, over and over and over (in case he didn't hear me the first few times). I know, I know....kids grow up, they change, they become more independent. And, I am sure there will come a time when I don't call him my "baby" anymore....but for now, he is still my sweet baby boy.